Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Happy Mother's Day

I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed at the minute. Chasing my tail after a lengthy bout of kid-sickness, trying to get on top of the house (not literally), and running out of time to write. But in honour of Mothers's Day, I thought I would share these stories from the archives about my own mum Chris . I wrote this back in 2009, when I had only two kids and many less grey hairs, but my Mum remains an incredible help and inspiration to me.  Also, she still cracks me up.

1. The Sausage

While camping one year, Mum ended up at a long table full of people discussing race relations in Australia. One charming man at the other end was holding forth, basically advocating genocide of the Aboriginal population. Mum, shy in groups, got more and more worked up but couldn't get it together to argue back. Eventually, in a sudden burst, she fired a charred sausage at him. A nicely blackened bit got him in the eye and the conversation ended as Dad led Mum away from the table.

2. The Standing Ovation. 

One of Mum's oldest friends is a bush poet. After working for years on a script on the Eureka Stockade, she got the chance to stage a reading for a group of investors at a city theatre. The audience was full of hard-nosed business types, me, and Mum, who was bursting with pride and excitement. At the shows conclusion, everybody clapped politely, but Mum was out of step with the vibe of the crowd. She leapt to her feet, cheering wildly, and then tried to sit down again when she realised that nobody else was getting up. Unfortunately, the chair beneath her folded up in the meantime, so she landed on the floor. Can you picture it? Gymnastic leap in the air, with clapping, to full floor finish. Priceless.

3. The Big Night Out.

So, with no small thanks to Mum's show of support, Eureka! got made, and Mum and I went along to the Melbourne opening night, where we had a blast. Mingled with d-list soapie stars and Big Brother contestants, boogied-on-down with the bearded mayor of Bendigo at the after-party, and stopped off on the way home at a karaoke bar to perform 'Hopelessly Devoted To You'.

What a woman! Lucky, lucky me. Love you Mum. 

Happy Mothers Day, you bunch of beautiful breeders. 


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Thanks for talking to me. I don't got cooties. Oh, except for when I got cooties.