Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Community Service

At my visit to the dentist this morning I found out that apparently I am brushing my teeth like the village idiot. I have worn away teeth at the back with enthusiasm and yet still failed to clean the ones at the front. It's only been about 37 years I've been doing it twice a day though, so I'm confident I'll get it right really soon.

I accidentally bit the dentist. 'Sworry,' I mumbled and 'Hazard of the job!" he replied brightly. The poor bastard.


When I got back out to the waiting room an elderly Greekish man patted the seat beside him encouragingly.  'Yes, sit! Sit!' he said. 'I have you here!'

I didn't want to be rude so I sat down next to him while I transferred money on my phone and he launched into a strange seduction. 'We have cappuccino now, ' he began forcefully. 

I declined politely. 'Yes!' he insisted, a bit angry.   'It take ten minute! Just take ten minute!" 

'I can't,'  I said. 'I have to get to my kids...job...school...thing at the...office.' 

'You have a hat,' he observed, changing tack and shifting closer. I agreed that I did. 'Your face is good on it.' I thanked him. 

'I have a big one, ' he confided. 

'Oh yes?" I said, an octave higher than my normal voice. 

'A really big one. I have a very big one. For garden.' 

I didn't manage to escape before he laid a sloppy kiss on my hand and said 'I see you tomorrow! For cappuccino!" 

Bite a dentist, reject an old man, for one more day, my work in the community is done. 

14 comments:

  1. I am also liking your face on you. YES!

    ReplyDelete
  2. See, this is why I never like to visit the dentist! You just never know what might happen there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So bad, Even without describiing the gorgsou blonde assistant staring down at my face under harsh lights...I just iagine her thinking 'oily T-zone, really dehydrated, nice lady-mo...'

      Delete
  3. Oh I love your way with words - reading your blog posts is a very good way to start the day!
    So how do you need to brush your teeth? Just in case I do it wrong, too...

    Fine

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not so hard Fine, soft brushes only, careful where the gum meets your teeth...

      Delete
  4. If it's any consolation, I do the teeth brushing all wrong too. Apparently I am a "scrubber" and it's no good. Here I was thinking I was being thorough...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh I am definitely a scrubber KK. But that's another story for another time.

      Delete
  5. That is hilarious! Um .... the old man and the big one. Is he actually referring to his penis???? Kellie xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 80% sure he's talking about his hat Kell.

      Delete
  6. Replies
    1. That's my work for the day done then Cath x

      Delete

Thanks for talking to me. I don't got cooties. Oh, except for when I got cooties.