Walking into Aldi today, I felt suddenly exhilarated. One kid at school, one at day-care and one with Nanna. Just me! Fancy-free and ready to linger with intent over the toilet paper and organic sultanas. I bought a yoghurt maker. This has been on my maybe -list for some time, so it was a thrilling purchase. More soon! Can you even stand to wait??
Don't answer that.
At the till, I was preparing myself for the athletic pursuit of removing my purchases from counter to trolley with the kind of ridiculous speed expected, when the checkout guy held up my bottle of Shiraz.
'Do you want this?' he called out loudly from the other end of the counter. 'Yes', I squeaked.
'You can't take it through this till, ' he near-shouted at me. 'You need the one one at the end!'
'OK, ' I said. 'Just leave it then.'
'But do you want it?" he asked impatiently.
'Yes,' I said. 'But I can't use this checkout?'
'Yes!' he sad. He really did seem shitty.
'OK, I'll leave it then.' I said.
'So you don't want it? ' he clarified.
It was getting very confusing. 'I want it.' I tried to be direct. 'But I don't want to unpack all my shopping and change aisles.'
'I'm not asking you to change aisles!' he said. 'I'm asking if you want the wine!'
Oh. It was terrible. 'What do you want from me?' I wanted to shout. ' I'm thinking that red wine might make a nice replacement for Nurofen Plus at 5pm today!My back is feeling much better today but I really don't know how I'll go after all the shopping and the housework and the school pick-ups and everything! My friend Sarah suggested medicating with peach schnapps but I feel that route will likely end in a rosy nose and incontinence and a home visit from a DOCS caseworker. So yes! I want the wine! Are you happy? ARE YOU HAPPY NOW PASSIVE- AGGRESSIVE SUPERMARKET CHECKOUT GUY?'
Putting my trolley back, my $2 rolled away, and when I got home, I realised that the entire inside of my wedding ring was gone. Oh. That breaks my heart a little bit.
But, you know. Some things are important and some are not.
My back is much better. Ribs back where they should be. And I'm just home from a fabulous school-parent planning session for our end-of-year extravaganza. Comedy, flash -mobs, shiny lanterns, long tables. Laughter is just the best thing we humans have going for us.
Life, she is good.