Thursday, April 19, 2012
Hints To Young Ladies On Occasions That Require Them To Expose Their Genitalia Under Strong Lighting
a) When your (young, male) doctor puts a big book up on the examination table, covers it with a paper sheet and says 'I like to do the procedure like this. It gives a better picture of your cervix,' it is OK to find the situation confusing and request clarification.
You are wrong to assume that the Pap smear protocol has changed, and the doctor wishes to sit in front of you on a stool. While the doctor washes his hands behind the curtain, you should not take off your undies and then awkwardly straddle the book while trying to maintain a blase expression and keep up your end of a conversation about Lord Howe Island. He did not mean you to mount the book. He meant you to lie down on the bed and then rest your hips up high.
b) Do not allow your three year old son to play with your phone while this humiliating exercise unfolds. He will take photos. And video.
c) Change doctors.