I'm feeling better, and Keith has had a great first week as head honcho of Lone Wolf Enterprises. Ivy, too, has been so well behaved. It's because she's obsessed with Charlie and The Chocolate Factory and will only answer when addressed as 'Charlie Bucket.' She calls me 'Miss Bucket' and Keith 'Grandpa Joe.' Because Charlie is the 'good boy', and Ivy is totally Method, as long as I remain in character as Miss Bucket, she is obedient and sweetly-spoken. But as soon as she forgets she's being Charlie, she throws a dramatic wobbly because her Band-Aid fell off or a dog looked at her funny.
Tonight at dinner we had a long chat to Charlie (who has decided to live at our house for five days) about his friend Ivy. Ivy is good some of the time, Charlie says, but naughty a lot. Ivy likes Star Wars, Charlie said, and when they play Star Wars together, Charlie is always Princess Leia and Ivy is always Luke Skywalker.
Confused? Welcome to the psychedelic wonderland of Ivy's head.
Ted, meanwhile is still refusing to get his head around the potty thing and has taken to wandering the house wagging his finger and chanting 'Bibbity bobbety boo. Never do a poo.'
Paging Dr Freud?