Saturday, January 15, 2011

Well, I Feel Better After This Rant. I Hope You Guys Are Doing OK Out There.

Life has been tough all over, it seems. My small stresses here at Ranch Mogantosh have been paling in comparison to the heartbreak suffered by those swirling in our orbit, who have lost lives or livelihoods in the floods, buried husbands or are supporting children through cancer.

I send all my best wishes to any of you suffering hard times right now.

Maybe it's a good time to offer a little cheer-up to all my buddies out there. Some of you will know that I write a monthly column for Practical Parenting Magazine. They posted this recent column on their website, and when I checked it out, I found 32 comments - some positive - but a goodly number absolutely CANING my parenting style, my writing style and everything that I stand for.

At first it was a little disconcerting, but soon I realised that the shriekers were largely nutty - and not in the fun way. In fact they were the brand of humourless humans I try my best to avoid. Soon I found it very funny, and I hope you do too.

I present you with:

The Best Of The Angry Shriekers That Hate Me.

1. Well, it just goes to show how many ridiculous people are out there posing as parents! Doesn't this woman realize that she has just made things worse for herself by giving in to her child? It's time some parents understood that you have to learn to say 'NO"! to your children. Before I took my three children shopping I made it very clear that they were not to ask for anything because not only could I not afford it, but they had to learn that they can't have it!

Well, shame she forgot to get to her irony lessons. But gosh, she sounds super fun to have a coffee with.

2. What a joke! 1. These stories are fantasy creations by the author. 2. Kids are NOT evil and if these stories were real, it was only from bad parenting. Kids need boundaries people! 3. The final story about the balloon: Yeah good one, reward the kid with a balloon for unacceptable behaviour. Reinforce the bad behaviour. The answer is in the story. And people listen to this?

Damn, observational domestic comedy wasted on this reader. And um..who said kids are evil? I think that was a voice in your head, weird internet shrieker. Not to judge you or anything.

3.No, I did not find any of the twaddle this woman wrote funny.

Brief and pithy. This writers name is Rodney. Somehow I imagine Rodney with a handlebar moustache and a safari suit, under which he is wearing lacy womens underpants.

4. Do any of these articles actually get approved or can any monkey write an article and expect us to take it as gospel.

Gosh, you should totally write one! I bet it would be lighthearted. But not as good as if an actual monkey wrote an actual gospel.

5. I honestly can't take anyone seriously who would call their children T-bone and Peanut. You're just asking them to be bullied. Also, I completely disagree with rewarding a child when they're doing the wrong thing. Far from helpful, I must admit the article was entertaining.

This is my absolute favourite. In these bacchanalian and godless times, I I love a reader who has led such a sheltered life that she's never come across a pseudonym. I only hope that she thinks the newspaper letters to the editor are really written by Disgrunted From South Melbourne.


  1. well, I love you and I love your kids. And your writing style - it's full of humour, realism and love for T-Bone and Peanut. Half the people on the internet shouldn't be allowed near technology, hell electricity even.

    I adore that you write about the antics of your little people, because THEY ARE HILARIOUS. I have been in bed at night in the laptop and woken Adam up from laughing and retelling of your stories. He knows who Ivy and Ted are. I have told coworkers some of the stories.

    Humorless people make me shudder. I can only feel sorry for their children and the lack of joy in their house!

    Keep it up Mogs, you are something that brightens my day and I per up when I see a new post.

  2. Georgie Love could be me (rather, I wish I was Georgie Love!) but her comment was wot I was thinking.

    Mr J and I have giggled over Teddy and Ivy's hilarious antics. We have told friends of Ivy's interest in the Christmas Genie.

    Are those commentators real people? They sound like automotrons (I think I made up that word!).

    Don't stop Mogantosh! We love youuuuuuu!


  3. Too funny...
    you even manage to create "wet your pants funnies" out of hordes of horribles.
    your blog has got me out of dark places on many occaission. Intelligent potty humour ... Hmm not quite right except for the intelligent and humour part. I pass on to any parent who practises thier kegels.
    Love it

  4. Oh oh oh - number five is gold! I'm glad you have enough humour to compensate for the disturbing nutters (whose children I feel extremely sorry for).

    And your writing skill is such that even a post about your hate mail cheered me up :)

  5. Hate mail is the BEST. I love it when you can almost hear their frothy saliva hitting the screen.

  6. Crikey. These people sound like that live a very measured, boring and I'm going to say it, sex-less life. I don't know what led me to the last point, but let us, dear Rach, take it as gospel.

    I love your writing. And if those people don't, then they probably don't even love the sun shining on their back. Or doing karaoke really badly. Or high fiving. SCREW THEM!

  7. Rach, you are one of the funniest monkeys I know. I'll be thinking of this story next time Mitch & Amy are playing 'chicken' with shopping trolleys in the toy aisle at Christmas time.

  8. These are gold, pure gold.

    I had my first piece of writing published on the web a few weeks back, there was one comment that totally annoyed me. It has kind of scard me away from the paid writing sphere. Crazy people seem to spend the day looking for places to rant. Their children of course are tied to the clothes line for spilling milk on the bench.

  9. Brilliant. I'm not sure you can pose as a parent can you? You either are or you aren't. And I don't think being a ridiculous person and being a parent are mutually exclusive. In my experience, the parenting lark requires a generous dose of the ridiculous. Bx

  10. Your responses had me giggling. And I cannot believe that woman actually thought that the psuedonyms were real.

  11. Man, only the cool kids get their own internet shriekers...
    I love reading your twaddle, Rach...

  12. LOL. It is for these people that someone needs to create a sarcasm font. That way, they might get it. Maybe.


    Flummoxed of Fibrotown

  13. those people that used to phone in on late night talk back radio are now ranting online and boy do they come out of the woodwork when anything on tender parenting or breastfeeding is published. don't you think they have some deep wounds that keep discharging and want others to suffer as well.

    keep going as am very much enjoying and will miss the glimples into your world.

  14. Wow I feel pretty sorry for the kids of these humourless people. I'm so glad you're around to bring a little light and laughter to parenting!

  15. Oh my god. These people need to be smacked with a funny bone and gain some perspective, fast. For the record, in case you ever needed an extra affirmation I think your writing is perfect and divine- and you're one of the best role models for motherhood I've ever encountered. So there. But if you want someone to go and shake them up a bit, let me know. The Hungry One does good intimidation.

  16. Oooooooooooh taking on a mama Mogan is dangerous take their dumb and humorless comments and turn them into gold. You are a legend. All those weirdos must be ones that read and enjoy Sydneys Child with the ten page 'party liftout'! keep it up Rach.


Thanks for talking to me. I don't got cooties. Oh, except for when I got cooties.