Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Oh, My Nerves.

Today I drove a four hour round trip to pick up a pair of Ebay stools that were listed as having ‘some light rust.’ Unfortunately the lister forgot to specify that the light rust was merely a top-coat addition to the ‘base rust.’ Also they are too short, which I can only blame on my measurement guesswork, dammit.

I thought I was prepared for the mission. Snack packs, toy catalogues and Mary Poppins soundtrack for the outbound trip. Prepared for, but hoping not to resort to caffeine, Nurofen Plus and McDonalds on the way home.

Forty-five minutes in, Teddy started to throw up. After I had fed him cheese and prunes, what’s more. On the freeway. Then we got lost, and please, I can’t relive the rest. You can imagine. Tonight, he seems better; at least he managed a full afternoon of steady, thoughtful destruction and then told me ‘Mama, I want eat poo-bum all day.’

Buddies, set me straight. Why the cuss am I thinking about adding another baby to this party? I’m ninety six fricken years old! Keiths sperm will need a walking frame and my eggs will probably get a discount onto the Fallopian tubes when they show their Seniors Card.

Plus, what if it wants eat poo-bum all day?

My nerves.

My nerves.

12 comments:

  1. Not more spew, must be the week for it. But tell me, do they love the mp cd? Have been thinking we need some new tunes for the kids that we can all stand.

    As for the extra bundle of joy, two is the luckiest number in this house.

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  2. Pull up a stool ... (don't eat one).

    I never questioned the imminence of my children ... 3/4 were begot without my knowledge, as far as I remember, and each one has stamped their mark, and pooed their poos, and some have vomited less, and more, than others.

    I just put the youngest to bed about five minutes ago, and smelled her sleepy smell and thought, I could have another one of you again in a second!

    I think, if you've got the love to give and the patience to love, then why not?

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  3. C'mon Rach...have another. Just think of the lovely morning-sick-sciatica-ridden-raging-hormones blog posts we could get out of the deal! Pul-eease?

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  4. Oh god, we talk about having another too, but I have discovered that toddlers and their revolting behaviour
    are the BEST contraception I have EVER encountered.

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  5. Clairy, Mary Poppins is the greatest.But for the best kids tunes of all time, youtube Dan Zanes.

    GL, I'm feeling your crazy toddler pain.

    As for you, MMMC and Wendy, is it possible that you pair of superbreeders are like kids in the corner of the bloggers schoolyard, pushing gestation on the others... go on, just one more...you won't get hooked...

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  6. You're giving me the fear! I have all this to look forward to, right?

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  7. I, on the other hand, live in FEAR of having another most of the time. Unfortuantely the mereist whiff of a newborn and I start lactating! So my body it seems wants another but my brain doens't , my husband says why- we got a good one let's quit while we are ahead, and I say I CANNOT DECIDE!!!

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  8. After the day you have had I have no answer that could possibly convince you on a number three. I always thought my unease with symmetry was a dodgy reason to have a third anyway. As it turns out, no one could imagine how it was before her.

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  9. You are one funny lady, that's all I have to say.

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  10. you've won the state of green giveaway! email mr for details!! xo m.

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  11. ps. yuck! i am covered in spew lately... but then she smiles and coos and i melt all over again!

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  12. Rolling on the ground in hysterics right now. Luckily, no one is spewing in our house just yet today.

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Thanks for talking to me. I don't got cooties. Oh, except for when I got cooties.