Friday, November 20, 2009

Higel brings sexy back (to the library.)

This week I returned to Story Time, hoping to improve my reputation. While I sat, feigning interest and thinking about coffee, my friend arrived. Let's call him 'Higel'. He's been present for the Troubles before. Come to think about it, he's probably the ringleader.

While I tried to behave as requested in the pamphlet 'Appropriate Behaviour for Parents and Children in the Library (otherwise known as 'Four Sticks Up My Bum and Counting'), Higel made it impossible by telling me a story that made me dribble from my nose.

Recently Higel, for reasons I chose not to enquire upon, borrowed the new edition of The Joy Of Sex. (His review - bring back the hairy people.) When he returned it, slotted modestly amongst a selection of less liberating literature, he wandered away to browse, and then noticed the librarians gathering around the returns chute.

Sure enough, they had the Joy out, and soon a flock (a shelf? a fine?) of librarians were tittering, pointing and flipping through the mighty tome. (Surely searching for the hairy people.) The group session lasted for a while, and got everybody so het up that they re-shelved the book without stamping it.

Over the next weeks, Higel's fines began to rack up.

In the end, he had to have a little chat with the librarian at the centre of the saucy huddle, tell her what he had witnessed and request that they stamp the book, take the fines off his card, and if possible, put back the hairy people.

While Higel told me this story, his girlfriend 'Histie', just returned from a shopping trip, pulled a fancy new bra out of her bag to show us.

I'm not so scared to return next week - I 'm pretty sure that Higel and Histie have surpassed my pedestrian brand of bad behaviour in terms of the tea-room gossip. What's a bit of parental neglect when faced with Mr Curious and his lady wife's kernickers?

1 comment:

  1. The 2001 30th anniversary edition of the Joy of Sex was one of the first books I bought for the Family Planning Library and I have to agree with Higel - it is sorely lacking in hairy people. In fact, it has 'tasteful' purple line drawings ... no fun at all. There may be an original edition of the book floating around my house somewhere - possibly a liberated library edition but that probably breaches a code of ethics or something ...


Thanks for talking to me. I don't got cooties. Oh, except for when I got cooties.