Monday, August 17, 2009

For Theodore Fox, on the occasion of his first birthday

Dear Teddy,

When they handed you to me in the hospital, last winter, you looked just like a little orangutan. Red and wrinkly all over, you were dusted with blonde fur and you blinked calmly up at me. When I looked at your eyes, I met the same sky-blue peepers that I had, the colour my Dad had passed down to me.

You were such a mellow baby, Teddles. You hardly cried for months. In fact, when you did wail for ten minutes once, your Dad and I and I hauled Ivy out of bed and bundled the whole family in the car. En route to the hospital, you fell asleep, and sheepishly, we turned and went home. Had we made it to Emergency, what would I have said? ‘My baby is CRYING! Help us, somebody! Run every test you can, and damn the expense!'

You didn’t stay quite this peaceful, once you figured out that you needed to share airspace with your all-action-all-the-time big sister. But you kept your mellow, happy nature, and you’ve stayed our little orangutan.

You might like a little picture of your life at twelve months:

You wake in the morning, and love to spend half an hour in bed with the family before breakfast. Dad dances you in the air, and blows on your belly, and Ivy tells you which Wiggle or Thomas train you are expected to play today. Affectionate to the death, you fling yourself at me with abandon. Often I cop a sudden left hook, and your loving head-butts can bring us both to tears. Mostly, though, it's 'Mama!', (unspoken subtext: 'You again! What luck!') and a fierce cuddle, a beautiful way to start the day.

You have supplanted your Dad’s place as family seagull, and happily eat all the leftovers from your sister’s plate. At nearly two years younger, you are just as solid, only half a head shorter, and share most of her clothes. (Even the pink ones.)

All day, you hate to miss the action. You are happiest perched on your mothers hip (as the osteo will confirm.) You love to squeeze into corners and small spaces, to unroll the toilet paper, to eat baby wipes and cotton balls; to unscrew the hot tap and throw it in the bath.

If the adults around you laugh, you do too, with a sudden, honking, delighted cackle you share with your sister. ‘Bah!’ you cry. ‘Mama! Dada! Ay! Dodo!’

You have a crazy jones for the computer keyboard. More than once I have come upon you wildly hammering at it while a text box on the screen says ‘Are you sure you want to delete this folder and all its contents?’ Currently you have set my screen saver to show a pair of 1920’s hipsters in suits.

You are a natural nudist, and fight at nappy and clothes-changing time with every one of your thirteen kilos. Every night, we sing you to sleep with your own little version of 'Danny Boy.' The sentiment is the same though the lyrics are different. Mine: ‘Oh, Teddy Bear, you’re such a lovely baby. Oh you are Mummy’s little baby boy...’ Dads: ‘Oh Teddy Bear, the pipes, the pipes are calling. From glen to glen, those fucking awful pipes…’

At one, you are still so much a baby. You are so deeply attached to me, and I to you, that we spend our days as loose physical extensions of the other. I can sense, though, just around the corner, the bittersweet sting of pride and sorrow that will go along with watching you navigate the world without me.

You are our love baby, McBeddles. Foxilocks Crazypants McMcintosh. Made with love, raised in love, and loved by many. Kissed, cuddled and carried all day. Love lives in every cell of your body, and love radiates from you.

You have given us a year of utter joy, Teddy.

Thanks for being you!


  1. OH happy birthday and that is so so so beautiful. I love reading about your love and endless pride. I feel full and happy to have stopped

  2. Is it just me or has Teddy got a definate touch of Frank about him? Ethan has just gone crazy about the picture of Teddy and wants to know whay he cant play with him RIGHT NOW - I think he recognises him as a fellow blonde/blue eyed traveller... Happy Birthday again from us. Nikki, Brian and Ethan. x

  3. OHHHHHHH!!!!! you maka me weep! Too beautiful! I want another one! Happy birthday gorgeous boy! xo

  4. My screen just went a little blurry. Tops.

  5. Ai, so sweet. I hope this blog still exists when he's old enough to read that and appreciate it.

  6. What a beautiful post! I hope Teddles had a lvoely first birthday- it is such a beautiful age!

  7. Thanks for all the lovely wishes, everybody. He did have a great birthday dinner, and liked his presents (including his first shoes...walk, Ted! my osteo and I are begging you!) I tied a big ribbon around a roll of toilet paper and after the meal we hit the floor and tore it to shreds together.

  8. ' lives in every cell of your body..'
    that's so beautiful!

  9. What an absolutely bursting-with-love post! How gorgeous.

    I'm so glad I found your blog (via KerriSackville's)

  10. When you're old enough to read this Teddy, in let's say two or three years, you will realise that you really lucked-in when you chose your Mumma and wonderful family - nice work!

    Happy birthday!
    I'm reading this on the birthday or day numero uno of your precious little sister Geirgette March - happy days in your little family.


Thanks for talking to me. I don't got cooties. Oh, except for when I got cooties.