Tuesday, April 28, 2009

in which I contemplate moving to a remote mountain community whose inhabitants share my family values

We went to a four-year-old neighbours birthday party on the weekend.

You know when it's a dress-up party but nobody else has dressed up? And you arrive late, so everybody turns and looks at you? And that little voice inside you says 'Again?'

Keith and Ivy, dressed inoffensively as a bush pilot and a lion, were OK. Keith even busted out his best Magnum.















I had made a stranger decision, based on two factors. One: I had recently put together a bridal costume for my save-the-date pictures,so there was a ready-made option, and two: the idea involved a hat - always a winner, because I hate to do my hair.

So I dressed as Cougar Bride, and decided Teddy would be my baby husband. (A cougar, for those who've missed this high point in recent gender relations, is an older, hot woman with a younger, hot partner. They also call it 'tadpoling'. ) Is it good, or bad, that I saw nothing odd in this? I also saw nothing strange in dressing up the two kids as brother-and-sister wedding party for my invites, but several people have pointed out that it could be construed as illegal, immoral, at best likely to cost thousands in teen-therapy and at worst resulting in grandchildren with flippers for feet.

Luckily for the sake of Teddys' future psychological health, there are no pictures of what Keith and I called, with reference to our show Arrested Development; Operation HotMother.

Funnily enough, the last time I dressed up in the white nightie, we also had costume-problems. That time my friend Marc hosted an Axis of Evil dinner party and Keith and I dressed as Tony and Cherie Blair from that famous picture of Cherie, snapped the morning after his election win.


It was inspired on my part, because I was seven months pregnant, and all I had to do was put on a nightie, smear some mascara and crazy-up my hair.


Keith wore the more insurance-agenty suit get-up we could cobble together. Later we found that the couple opposite us thought we hadn't bothered dressing up.

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Thanks for talking to me. I don't got cooties. Oh, except for when I got cooties.