Today Keith noticed Ivy had that thousand-mile-stare as she leaned against the couch.
'Are you doing a poo, Ivy?' he said.
'No, daddy, I just relaxing,' she replied, and then looked shamefaced as a little nugget fell out of the leg of her pants.
Just then I came home from the shop.
'What's up?' I said.
'I did a shorts in my poo, Mummy,' she said.
Last night Keith dreamed that he was at a conference in Hamburg when he realised that he wasn't wearing any pants. He walked around for a while trying to cover himself with his hand before he thought 'Hang on, I'm in Europe!' and decided just to let it all hang out.