Friday, April 25, 2008

Could Ivy be Henry VIII?

Am I crazy, or is it possible that Ivy is a reincarnation of Henry VIII? Let me present my case.

She demands food constantly with an imperious hand gesture and when she doesn't approve of the offering, she throws it from the table and calls for more. (The chicken bones going to the hounds in the Great Hall?)

She wanders the house destroying, exploring and examining objects as she finds them. If she likes one she she eats it, takes it apart, puts it in her handbag or hides it in a shoe. If she doesn't like one she she destroys it, throws it in the bath, or holds it, wailing, until somebody removes it from her presence. (Wives 1 through 6?)

She is only content playing on her own for a short time and when left to her own devices for a while she begins to angrily demand attention or hang swaying onto a parental leg, moaning with self-pity. ('Out with this pitiful jester! Bring on the dancing girls!')

She soils herself at will and makes another gesture to indicate that she would like her garments changed. (It's a toss-up between a soiled medieval gout-bandage and a nappy after a fruit-heavy day).

She capriciously plays favourites with her servants (or parents); calling for one while in the arms of the other, or crying when one leaves the room even though the other is there, forlornly offering toys, food and cuddles.

I only hope that things don't end badly for Keith and I in the relationship.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for the visit to my blog :-) I would love to be a part of your article, but the email you left doesnt seem to be working. You can email me on

    Oh and I have a mini Henry VIII as well.


Thanks for talking to me. I don't got cooties. Oh, except for when I got cooties.