Wednesday, June 20, 2007

and another thing

Meteorologists and radio announcers all got hepped up on goofballs after the excitement of our recent stormage. The warnings for last nights weather system started serious, got dramatic and ended hysterical. By the evening we were told to expect 'cyclonic winds'.

Keith is in Canberra. I spent the night anxiously holed up in bed with Ivy; storm bag in one hand (radio, candles, muesli bars, mobile) and the baby in the other.I would have worn Keith's torch hat but couldn't find the batteries.

I watched an interview with young princes William the Bald and Harry Pothead, while Channel7 kept scrolling a message across the screen, 'Severe storm warnings for NSW South Coast. Channel 7 will keep you posted through the night'. The scrolling banner was the whole posting though, managing to be panicky, self-congratulatory and useless, all at once.

Nothing happened.

Speaking of awkward segues, regional TV ads. Does the big smoke have that Franklins ad where the cheery sock puppet with a plastic party hat advertises 62 cents off wheat bran oil? What is wheat bran oil even for?

Here's a recent news update: 'Police are searching for 22 parrots stolen from an aviary in Nowra. Your entries are requested for the Tidy Town awards'.We also have a terrifying Greek chef named, I think, Christos, who does ADHD style 5-minute snippets where he cooks heartstoppers like fried butter in cheese sauce, and finishes his segment by running maniacally through a fruit shop with a bunch of leeks in his mouth, eyes bulging like a dog with its lead around its neck.

Ivy is eating lentils, chicken and banana now, and doing a new trick where she shakes her head madly from side to side for no reason.

1 comment:

  1. i think meteorologists have lost the will to live even though the pollies have finally clued onto climate change - too little too late. i think they are refusing to liase with weather men anymore leaving these guys to make up shit...of course that might just be me...

    miss you awfully


Thanks for talking to me. I don't got cooties. Oh, except for when I got cooties.